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Wednesday, November 18, 2009


What am I searching for?

Budapest-born photographer André Kertész gained inspiration for many of his best shots though his preoccupation with reading and the written word.

I hate that I pause when asked "'What do you want to do for a living?". I have a dream but not a goal right now. I need a short term goal and plan to follow. I'm an expert at knowing what i don't want to do. I can wax poetically about what I want to avoid and why, but when pressed I can't tell you what I really do want. With that said, I'm trying to make a change. A physical and immediate change. I just applied to a position that I am grossly under qualified for; I met less than a third of the requirements. The job description was so thorough and inspiring that I just had to reach out to them. I've never pictured myself as anarchivalist but I was moved by the concept, respect and innovation of library sciences. I have no prior experience in such things. The closest I even come to is having my dear friend Tiffany involved in an exclusive paper conservation program.
" Hai, can I haz a job?... I know someone who does this kinda thing."
I have no idea if my page long coverletter explaining my recent interest and eagerness to learn more of this field will even be read. I'm just hoping it's a step in the right direction to chasing downsomething new and thought provoking in my ca


wool and misc said...

i have my fingers and toes crossed for you, lady!

i wouldn't get TOO down about not knowing how to answer that question, as i believe only a very small percentage of people know-know what they want to do/be. i sure a hell just stumble backasswards through life and try to find some enjoyment along the way.


Clorivak said...

Omigoodness melodies, I am TOTALLY in the exact freaking same boat as you. Like reading this was like reading my own brain.
I am unemployed right now and trying to figure out what in the HELL to do. I have no idea, all I know is what I hate. I know what I like too but can't seen to narrow it down to what I want to do Everyday as a career. I don't have particular stand out talent that I love and gravitate towards so it makes me feel so lost.
I have been attending career workshops in the last few days, that explains my absense, and I'm taking an 8 day one coming up and apparently by the end of it, I should know what I want to do. The instructor said if I don't, than I never will know. Its a lot of testing, myers briggs stuff,etc etc etc...It'll be interesting to see how that turns out.
sorry for the intense blabberabbage.

Gabbi said...

André Kertész's work is beautiful. I love the one of the little boy sitting on a bed of newspapers reading his comics especially.

Also very much relate to the stress that comes from not having a clear passion for a career in life. I've always been jealous of people who do. Even if it's something that's a bit insane... at least they have a plan!

L said...

I was tortured with this feeling for a long time. I hated my editorial job but didn't know what to do instead. So I quit, gave up my apartment, and volunteered with AmeriCorps working in the woods for a year, traveled around Italy, and worked a series of low paying but fun jobs. I was always taking inventory of what I liked and didn't like about each experience. Finally, I put all the pieces together and figured it out. Now I'm getting a masters in museum exhibition design (after having vowed NEVER to go back to school). I had to take a really active approach of exploration, cause nothing was coming to me when I was at my most miserable. Explore!

drollgirl said...

i am keeping my fingers crossed for you! it would be so rad for you to land a job that sounds so interesting!

i am MUCH better at defining what i don't like than figuring out what i want. ugh! i need to work my way around this, but the job/bills/life complications/salary expectations + my age don't make this very easy. but i know those are excuses.